Christians judge me.
I was talking with a friend the other day who has made a lifestyle choice that is not consistent with Christian teaching (sorry to be a little vague here but I’m hiding the identity of the person concerned).
I was talking to them about church and wondering if they were going anyway at present. Their response was that they weren’t because they just couldn’t go through all that comment and judgement that church people do.
Now I might have defended the church at this point – perhaps pointing out that the lifestyle they have chosen is in fact not what Jesus taught – but I think she was right.
I know that the bible teaches that this person has made a wrong choice. She knows this too. But she has made the choice to live as she does and she must be free to make that choice.
The problem now is that she feels excluded from the church – the very place she should be able to go to to help her make the right choices.
How does the church usually help people make choices? At best they will be patronising and whisper behind her back and at worst they will publically humiliate her.
What did Jesus do with sinners? Did he hold them up for public scorn? Did he whisper about them behind their back? Did he say “get away from me you are unclean!”? Of course not – he went and had a meal with them and called them his friends.
If the church was only for perfect people it would be empty and yet too often those who go see it as an exclusive club where some sins are ok (we just don’t mention those) and some sins are not allowed in here.
I’m not advocating a free for all where sin doesn’t matter – in truth I’m am very keen on personal holiness – but how do we get holy if the place we can meet with God and fellowship with others is barred to us because of a wrong choice we have made.
Sorry – I’m starting to rant.
Let’s get more serious about rejecting the sin but loving the sinner (with the emphasis on loving the sinner e.g. me – and you).
Perhaps if we put all the energy we expend on telling everyone how bad they are into telling people how much God loves them we might have full churches and I would be out of a ministry (good thing by they way).
on July 5, 2008 on 3:17 pm
Just a comment.
The church is not the place to “be holy”. Holiness is transcendent of the church. It has to be otherwise, many people would be barred from being holy. Take the emphasis off the church and put it on Christ. True holiness isnt church membership but relationship with the Holy One.
Your friend will have no excuse when she stands before God because he never said we had to attend church or be accepted by the church to be holy. Even if the church were 100% hypocritical, there is still no excuse for not having a relationship with Christ. If that is her biggest excuse to not having a right relationship with Christ she is in more trouble than she thinks.
Even telling people that “God loves them” is an ineffective message unless that love is understood to be an active force of change and transformation. Without it youll only have churches full of happy, but unholy people.
Thanks
on July 6, 2008 on 10:18 am
Thanks for the comment.
My friend has a strong Christian faith but is outside the church because of the tongue wagging and finger pointing that seems to have become the norm for church goers these days. Her judgement will be by God of course and not by us.
I don’t approve of what she has done myself but then I am a sinner as well and as much in need of his forgiveness as anyone. I don’t have the right to tutt at her sin while I am a sinner myself.
Now if she were trying to become a church leader there might be other questions to answer but all she wants to do is to worship and follow Jesus.
Holiness comes from God and not from anything else.
I would hope that the church would be full of happy and unholy people. If it can only be full of unhappy and holy people or happy and holy then what hope is there for anyone?
Surely the church should be full of happy and unholy people. Unholy because we all sin and happy because they know God forgives them if they repent. Then we should trust God to expose their sin to them – through the work of the Holy Spirit (which may include clear teaching and helpful support from the rest of the congregation). Once exposed they need to repent.
How will people ever repent if they are forced to defend themselves in the church? Surely we want people to change not to force them to take a defensive position.
All I ask for is that the church be more welcoming to sinners instead of telling sinners they are not welcome.